Congratulations! And welcome earth-side to your little one! Whether this is your first baby or not, this is going to be an exciting adventure for you and your family.
You’ve now entered what many call the fourth trimester, and what Montessori called the Symbiotic Period. This is a period in which baby and mom need one another. It’s a time for bonding between mother and baby, a time in which baby already begins to build trust through close contact with us and having their needs met.
Rest and Ask for Help
In this time of change, full of emotions, I invite you to really take the time to slow down and rest when you can and enjoy your time with this new little bundle and allow yourself to find your marks.
In order to feel supported during this time, don’t hesitate to ask for help from loved ones. This help can look like looking after your little one while you get some well-deserved rest or some time to take care of yourself, having someone cook a nourishing dish, help out with laundry, cleaning, etc. That said, I also understand that you may feel strange about asking for help. Or perhaps you’re not quite sure what to ask help with. And that’s okay. Just don’t forget that you’ve just given birth to a little one, and need to recover and that others are usually happy to lend a helping hand.
Aside from enjoying the newborn days, bonding with your little one, resting and asking for help, here are just a couple of things you can think about to make the transition earth-side a bit gentler for baby.
Free Movement and Points of Reference
Allow your little one as many opportunities for free movement as possible. I know, I know, many parents and experts swear by swaddling their little ones, but it also restricts their movement.
Try to maintain some of baby’s points of reference. In the womb, baby was probably sucking his thumb, could bring his hands to his face, feel and grab different things. Leaving your baby’s hands bare (not covering them with newborn mittens) provides them with the opportunity to keep this point of reference.
The topponcino also provides baby with a solid point of reference. In their book, Davies and Uzodike explain how the topponcino achieves this: “The baby finds security and a familiar scent – their scent and the scent of their parents, siblings, and family – in this thin cushion. It prevents overstimulation when handled by family and friends, and it allows the baby to be transferred from arms to bed without triggering the startle reflex.” – Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike, The Montessori Baby, p.43
Sleep
You’ll notice that little one sleeps many hours in the day, but baby’s sleep cycle is not the same as yours and therefore can be quite unpredictable. Don’t let that keep you from resting when you can, but also from living your life. Don’t be afraid of everyday sounds like talking, a washing machine, maybe even a vacuum, disturbing your baby’s sleep. It is extremely noisy inside the womb: baby heard a huge amount of sounds and voices. So don’t worry about having to tip-toe or whisper every time baby’s asleep. 😉
Take Pictures
Last thing I would mention is, consider having a little photo shoot with your newborn (it doesn’t have to be professional). They will never be this small again and they will change so much over the next weeks, months and years! You’ll want to remember this moment.
I wish you a beautiful beginning with your little one and feel free to share what you found helpful in these first days. <3
Would you like more out of this blog series? I’m inviting you to join “The Audio Diary“, a private podcast, in which you can have an exclusive look, week-by-week for an entire year, into how a Montessori expert and mother navigates creating intentional spaces for baby, integrating Maria Montessori’s philosophy, while experiencing normal parenting challenges.
